I’ve been feeling pretty…good…as of late. Still not drinking (day 24) and not too many cravings. I use the Recovery Elevator sobriety counter on my phone to keep track of the days/money/drinks not consumer/calories saved by not drinking. So currently I’m at 3 weeks, 2 days, 23 hours, 25 minutes and ~47 seconds. I’ve not consumed (approx.) 143.61 drinks, saved $502.63 (!!!) and saved 14,360.94 calories. omgggg. While I KNEW my drinking “habit” was costing me waaay too much money, I didn’t realize it was in the $500-$600/month ballpark. Jeeeesus. That’s $7,200 a YEAR dedicated to boozing. I feel shame and elation at the same time. Man, I can put together a might nice nest egg with that money.
Anyway, last night I had an appointment with my psych doc and the last time I saw her a few months back I was weepy and miserable and just not in a good place. When I told her last night that I was feeling fantastic she actually got tears in her eyes. She’s an amazing woman and I’m so glad I was so fortunate to have met her. In the 20 years of me seeing various psych docs for various issues, I can hands-down say she’s the first who TRULY helped me and TRULY cared. We decided since I’m in such a good place right now that we can hold off until June for another face-to-face appointment, but to never hesitate to give her a call if I’m slipping into a “bad place”. I feel like I could jinx myself if I start thinking too far into the future in regards to my drinking. God, I hope I’m still NOT drinking come June. The only thing I’m willing to take from AA (man…I loathe AA. Like, a LOT a LOT.) is the “One Day at a Time” mantra. I’m sober TODAY. And I’ll think about tomorrow come TOMORROW.
Interesting note: I had a mighty big craving when leaving the doc. My ‘old’ liquor store is just a few blocks from her office and I always stopped for a pint of vodka after leaving and on my way to the train. I bought booze RIGHT AFTER leaving an appointment FOR MY BOOZE ADDICTION. Derp. Anyway, I did a couple deep breaths and told myself the feeling was temporary and that it would soon pass. (Which it did.)
On a non-related front, I managed last night to knock out two appointments in one day. My doc is over in the Ravenswood neighborhood (my old ‘hood. Man, I still miss it after four years), as is my hair stylist. I had an appt with Edgar (hair) scheduled for Friday, but since I was already a few blocks away for the doc, I swung by the salon to see if he could fit me in. So BOOM. Doc at 4:30 and hair at 5:30. I already told my boss I had to leave early on Friday for my hair, so eh. I’m still going to jet out of the office early on Friday JUST BECAUSE.
Otherwise, rainy, rainy, dark Thursday. SPRING PLZ.