Just…Yanno, Hanging in There.

Wooh, it’s been over a month since I’ve updated.
Winters in Chicago…ugghhhhh. We’ve been lucky to at least have warm (albeit it, rainy) weather, but it’s just so, so, soooooooo dark all the time. I leave home in the morning before the sun is up, spend my commute in a dark subway, work in a dark office building surrounded by other dark office buildings, allowing pretty much zero sunlight (when there even is sunlight), commute  back home under ground, and then by the time I am home, it’s already dark outside.
I’m still using that happy light every morning from 5:15-6:00. I guess it has to be helping somewhat (along with the Brintellix and Neurontin, I suppose) since I haven’t had any desire to throw myself in front of a train in quite a few months.

Sobriety is tough for me after the “pink cloud” stuff has floated away.

Why is “life” so hard? I don’t mean like, every day struggles or “oh, boo hoo, I live in a first world country and I have the sads now and again” but like…what’s the *point*? Everyone is living their life. I am sure there are more happy than sad people out there. You would think that since we all HAVE to live, it would be automatic that we would know how to *do* it.

I’ve been trying to figure out how to be happy for oh, 15 years now and I feel like I’ve made ZERO progress.

Anyway. I’m not drinking today.

About LilyQuits

I'm a mess.
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4 Responses to Just…Yanno, Hanging in There.

  1. riding on empty says:

    You’re not drinking today. That’s progress just by itself. I’m nearly done trying to figure life out. Seems easier that way.

    Like

    • LilyQuits says:

      It certainly would be easier that way, wouldn’t it? I try, but now and again, usually when I least expect it, the *deep thoughts* come unwelcomed out of nowhere.

      Like

  2. Just hold on in there, one day at a time, one step at a time, good days and not so good days, thats all many of us can manage …… it is worth it 😊

    Like

    • LilyQuits says:

      Thanks, I do try to tell myself that Scarlet O’Hara line when I start dwelling, “I’ll think about that tomorrow.” Sometimes it does work!

      Like

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