I feel like shit.

I drank this weekend. I mentally feel like absolute horse shit. Just really, really depressed. I’ve been cycling between anger and “what’s the point?” and feeling on the verge of tears all morning.

See, that’s one of many of the horrors of alcohol. It makes you depressed and anxious, but I still want to turn to it when I feel depressed or anxious, because I know it would be a short, fake respite and really, when I’m feeling so down, I DON’T give enough of a shit about myself to take better care of myself.

What a terrible, horrible cycle.

On the plus, I’m leaving the office around 3 this afternoon for a therapist appt. Was thinking about rescheduling it (again) but may as well just get it over with.

I feel like I’ve been walking under water all day. And I can’t believe it’s only 11am. WTHHHHH maaaaaan.

Maybe I’ll get a McDonald’s cheeseburger for lunch. Also terrible for me, but better than booze, I guess. Oooh, and some salty fries with lots and lots of ketchup. Yes, that sounds like a plan.

About LilyQuits

I'm a mess.
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