Dwelling = Bad.

I’ve started to realize I can’t really put much thought into my sobriety unless I come about a craving that I need to fight.

When I quit smoking, I was able to keep the momentum going by constantly reading online forums full of others trying to quit cigarettes.

With drinking (or, not drinking), I can barely stand to log in even once a day to check in. I really can’t put much thought into my *not* drinking. Reading sobriety forums doesn’t make me crave a drink (or 10) but I can’t keep dwelling on it.

I think this is why AA would never, ever, evereverEVAH be a good fit for me. I know it’s helped thousands (Millions? I really don’t know.) over the years and that’s fantastic, but I rather just eventually get to the point where I don’t think about alcohol and don’t care about it, and just be a non-drinker. Not a life-long “alcoholic” where I need to remind myself numerous times a week that I am powerless and whatnot.

I smoked for 12 years or so. At one point I was up to two packs a day. I LOVED smoking. I really did. But I developed terrible asthma and it was so expensive that I just couldn’t keep it up.
Like drinking, I can’t even begin to figure out how many tries it took to finally quit, or how many different methods I tried, but eventually it “stuck”. And now seven years later, I don’t think about cigarettes other than being shocked at how MORE expensive they’ve become, or get grossed out when I’m walking behind someone who is smoking.

Aaaaaanyway, I don’t consider myself a smoker, nor even an “ex-smoker”. I’m just a non-smoker. That’s it. And I look forward to the day that I will be a non-drinker. That’s it.

On another note, I got this awesome, long, green and black plaid skirt and am wearing it today. I FEEL LIKE A PRETTY, PRETTY PRINCESS.

About LilyQuits

I'm a mess.
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2 Responses to Dwelling = Bad.

  1. thebongoroom says:

    Yeah, one day the thought of having a smoke just doesn’t pop up. It’ll be a fantastic moment when that happens. I hope it come soon for both of us. Do what’s been working for you, Lily. You’ll still have a Stranger Lady in Canada rooting for you, even if you don’t post much. 😊

    Hope it’s a good week for you. Keep your Pretty Princess vibe strong!

    Liked by 1 person

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