I’ve started to realize I can’t really put much thought into my sobriety unless I come about a craving that I need to fight.
When I quit smoking, I was able to keep the momentum going by constantly reading online forums full of others trying to quit cigarettes.
With drinking (or, not drinking), I can barely stand to log in even once a day to check in. I really can’t put much thought into my *not* drinking. Reading sobriety forums doesn’t make me crave a drink (or 10) but I can’t keep dwelling on it.
I think this is why AA would never, ever, evereverEVAH be a good fit for me. I know it’s helped thousands (Millions? I really don’t know.) over the years and that’s fantastic, but I rather just eventually get to the point where I don’t think about alcohol and don’t care about it, and just be a non-drinker. Not a life-long “alcoholic” where I need to remind myself numerous times a week that I am powerless and whatnot.
I smoked for 12 years or so. At one point I was up to two packs a day. I LOVED smoking. I really did. But I developed terrible asthma and it was so expensive that I just couldn’t keep it up.
Like drinking, I can’t even begin to figure out how many tries it took to finally quit, or how many different methods I tried, but eventually it “stuck”. And now seven years later, I don’t think about cigarettes other than being shocked at how MORE expensive they’ve become, or get grossed out when I’m walking behind someone who is smoking.
Aaaaaanyway, I don’t consider myself a smoker, nor even an “ex-smoker”. I’m just a non-smoker. That’s it. And I look forward to the day that I will be a non-drinker. That’s it.
On another note, I got this awesome, long, green and black plaid skirt and am wearing it today. I FEEL LIKE A PRETTY, PRETTY PRINCESS.